Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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