he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
