I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
