I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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