He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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