Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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