So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
