He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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