Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
