you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize