he shaved USA in his pubs
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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