have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
