For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
