ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
