Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
