It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
