My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
