are you still at the devil's house?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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