...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
