You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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