sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
