So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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