I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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