He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
