I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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