I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
