It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
