i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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