if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
