your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
