It's Friday. Sex?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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