so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
