i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize