he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Houston, we have a blender
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
