Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
