So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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