wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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