no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
