like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We left the knife in your bed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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