So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
