no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
