why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
