Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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