The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
