please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All I want is dick and wine.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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