Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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