my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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