He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
