I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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