just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
