he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
