College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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