i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
either way he was missing a nipple.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
