finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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