either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
bring money and cleavage
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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