Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I woke up under a house in Key West
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
