things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
