On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize