if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
