You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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