god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
