His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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